What do you do when you hate yourself and are constantly sad?
Replay, rewatch, reread!
Combat the depression with a constant onslaught of things you love to an obsessive level and boom, coping mechanism!
(And yes, I do have clinically diagnosed high moderate depression and high moderate GAD so don’t even try)
I’ve been consistently going to therapy for a while now.
Actually, now that I think about it, it’s only been a year now. My sense of time is out of whack (I’m still processing April of this year)
But my therapist is absolutely lovely—she always asks me to “spill the tea, sis,” when I sit down on the comfy couch in her office
And we’ll go over my monthly bujo spread (even though it’s trash) and discuss ~emotions~
Fun times all around
Something that comes with depression is lack of motivation to complete things
For me specifically, it manifests in a weird way
I’m tired all the time no matter how much sleep, so I usually never want to do chores, homework, or what have you
But then my anxiety kicks in, so I very quickly speed through all my work in a matter of hours so I don’t have to do it later
Algebra 1 homework sucks
And now, my generalized anxiety disorder!
I always fear that nothing I do matters, because even though I have people who care about me, they will all ultimately forget me and then be forgotten themselves
Any influence I have won’t matter in, say, a couple of decades
Even if I’m famous, the world we live on is nothing more than a grain of sand resting under the ocean
I guess that’s the real reason I started this blog. To matter a bit more. Because hey, random people hearing about stuff I’m deeply passionate about might inspire them to go check it!
Maybe
Well, I do certainly have mental illnesses. Normal people don’t really think like me
On the one hand, I’m always prepared for the unexpected. On the other hand, I always seem to be surprised by the completely expected
I’m not what you would call “intelligent”
I hope you got educated today about mental illnesses
My one mission is to erase the stigmatism surrounding such things
Also, my classmates wanted to know why I keep leaving school early every two weeks
I guess that’s all. Til next time, mes chéris
random thoughts of my fandoms 