Salvete, my friends!
Today I’ll be sharing some writing tips with you!
So first, I’ll share two sentences with you.
“The bewildered victims navigated the Labyrinth.”
“The bewildered victims wandered the Labyrinth.”
Which one sounds better?
The second one, right?
Well, that’s because the victims are confused, so it sounds better when you say wandered instead of navigated.
When you explain things, try to go with adjectives that go together. Like wander and bewildered.
Does that make sense?
Well, I’m moving on now so too bad.
“The old lady said, ‘Yeah, okay.’ “
“The old lady said, ‘I suppose.’ “
Once again, the second one sounds more realistic than the first one.
That’s because, old ladies are typically mature, so instead of saying maybe, they might say perhaps.
Describing tips (still writing)
With description, it’s tricky to figure when to tell your readers how that and this looks.
If you just drop some adjectives on your readers, that’s going to jolt them out of the story.
But if you describe to little, no one will see the characters in the way you wanted them to seen.
I’ll give two short stories, and explain why one of them is better.
And of course, they’re going to be oneshots. (Lol)
Keefe walked up to Sophie after leaping to Havenfield. “Foster.” he greeted the blonde elf.
Sophie replied, a bit annoyed, “Yes, Keefe?”
Keefe took a deep breath. He could mess up. Probably. He shuffled his black boots in the green grass.
“Ro used her ultimate dare,” here he said some… unorthodox things about dares and ogres under his breath. “to make me say, um, Foster, I’ve liked you since the Black Swan hideout thing.” he blurted out.
Keefe closed his eyes and waited for a ridiculing laugh from Sophie as she walked away. He was creepy Mr. Legacy, after all.
Instead, she made a tiny gasp. “Really? Keefe, I—I like you too!”
This one sounds pretty good.
We know how Keefe got to Sophie and where they were. The adjectives are sprinkled around perfectly, and if this was longer, I would definitely lose myself in this story. And no, I’m not flattering myself. Shut up.
Percy asked Annabeth to go to the strawberry fields with him. She said yes.
When they got to the fields, Annabeth saw a picnic.
“Percy!” she exclaimed. “I love it!”
He pumped a fist.
They ate some strawberries and talked a bunch.
I have no clue what anyone looks like, and there’s barely any talking. Where were they when they planned to go to the fruit-filled meadow?
And talked a bunch? About what?
How was the picnic there?
This is definitely an example of under-description.
Of course, I doubt anyone writes this bad unintentionally.
Whew! You have no clue how long this took to write, trust me.
To give you an idea, I had just created Silveny Writes.